The Excuse Epidemic
Excuses are choices. We all (including myself) make thousands of choices each day. We choose what time we get out of bed. We choose what we eat. We choose how we spend our free time and with whom. Those thousand-plus choices add up to our habits, which form our values, and our values become our destiny (Mahatma Gandhi), or in other words, they become our culture. If you pay close attention to your daily interactions, you may find that you live or work in a culture where excuses are made profusely, meaning that it is the cultural norm in your environment. I would submit to you that you have, therefore, made a choice at some point to be a part of that culture, whether it’s the job you chose or the family behaviors you choose to accept.
“... Your habits become your values, Your values become your destiny.”
Alternatively, you may observe that excuses are rare in your environment, and the people who make them don’t last long, or they improve their behavior because they are held accountable to a high standard. If you find yourself here, congratulations! You have found a “warrior tribe.” A warrior tribe is committed to making each other better for the long-term success of the whole. This is a very special culture, and it does exist in the corporate space, the athletic world, and most importantly, it exists in our family tribes.
The anatomy of an excuse: When we make an excuse, we are making it because of the choice that we made, but we don’t say that. When we are late, we say something like, “I overslept,” or, “The alarm didn’t go off.” When in reality, we have developed a habit of snoozing our alarm, and after a third time, we reach over and press the wrong button, which turns it off, and we wake up to the sun beaming in through the blinds, late for work. The excuse we make doesn’t accurately describe the cause of the tardiness. The excuse is an empty rationalization to distract others from the truth, like an explosion in the distance to mask the crime occurring in front of our faces.
Nobody wants to hear your excuse, and in a world where time is money, we just don’t have time for them. In my experience as a corporate and athletic leadership consultant, I find that the vast majority of coaches, business leaders, and school administrators won’t tolerate excuses. However, that doesn’t make their team elite. What makes a team elite is when the warriors in the trenches, the ones who are doing the work, won't allow their peers to make excuses. Leaders can’t be everywhere all the time. They must develop trust that others will carry out their orders and intent. Creating that hard-core culture of excuse eradication is almost as important as the bottom line, the championship, and the high test scores. Without that culture, the test scores will fall, the championships will dry up, and the bottom line will shrink. Most importantly, if we look at this in the context of our family culture, we will handicap our children and jeopardize their futures if we allow them to make excuses today.
Legitimate excuses do exist but are better defined as “explanations.” As parents, coaches, and leaders, it’s essential to recognize the culture warriors on your team who run into a bit of bad luck. If we don’t critically examine the situation and the reasons given, we run the risk of destroying morale. We’ve all heard of the hopeless teammate who is trying to do the right thing but always gets knocked back down. There was a wreck on the highway that took three hours to clear. Nobody can be expected to leave three hours in advance of a delivery time or a meeting to avoid the .05% chance that the interstate is shut down. However, we CAN communicate it as early as possible to our customers, our leadership, and other stakeholders, who may be able to adjust in case you are late. Additionally, this legitimate “explanation” ties right back to our habits. If we have made a habit of timeliness, dependability, and great communication, these unlucky occurrences are unlikely to affect our team’s reputation or family culture at all.
Action required! We will all make an excuse today, or at least we will start to make one. Re-phrase that excuse before it comes out, and instead of saying “the alarm,” “the traffic,” “my kids,” or “my dog,” use words like “I decided” or “I chose to.” When we sharpen our language and accurately describe the reason for the failure to perform, we improve effectiveness, build trust, gain respect, and strengthen our culture. People generally thrive as part of a tribe. Make yours a warrior tribe by eradicating the unnecessary and toxic excuses we hear every single day.
